Michael H. Interview

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Oh yeah, boys and girls! It's the much anticipated interview with PT
Grimm's lead screamer, Michael H. Check out the review and read
on to find out what this smooth Grimminal has been up to lately. Let
Michael H school you on The Origin of the House Sound Guy Species
and how Alien Poop put the Devil in Jersey.

Scary: Thanks so much for taking the time to do this interview.
I know you've been staying busy lately. Are you getting time to
enjoy the fruits of your labor, or is the business taking away all
of your pleasure?

Michael: It’s been busier than a free brothel around here, and
this is my third interview of the day, but we’re enjoying the
blur. We’ve been spending 10-14 hour days just working on
new material…We’re simultaneously working on an EP of all
cover songs and writing a new album…But Poop and I found
time to hang out with our absolute idol, George Carlin, last
night, so we’re happier than little girls with new Barbies at the
moment.

Scary: You mentioned to me that you had lent your talents to
some other projects. Is that anything that you can tell us about,
or is it classified information?

Michael: I’ve been tooling around with a couple of things…I got
a few offers to star in indie films, with an offer to score one of
the soundtracks, and I’ve been playing around with another
band during the P.T. Grimm off-time. I might take the offer to
score the soundtrack, and I might put out a record with this
other band at some point in the distant future, but I doubt I’ll be
appearing in the films. I’d love to do a cameo role in a film
someday, but starring is simply going to eat up too much time,
and P.T. Grimm is always home base and my first priority.

Scary: So, PT Grimm is back on the stage. Are you staying in
the region, or are you planning to grace the rest of the nation
with your presence?

Michael: I can’t even tell you how many emails we get from
people begging us to come out and ruin their state. It’s always
a blast and meeting all these new kids and playing to fresh
faces who know all the lyrics, but right now, we’re writing a
new album, so we’re probably going to stick to playing around
here for a while.

Scary: Speaking of live shows, I read the bit about house
sound guys in your journal. I think that deserves an award...
Pulitzer or maybe even Nobel. Could you just repeat that
definition of what a house sound guy is for everybody here? I
think you nailed it perfectly, and no one seems to believe me
when I say it.

Michael: Sure, I said “Sound guys are all failed musicians
who's hopes and dreams have expired…Balding drug addicts
who’s ideals have all but vanished, replaced with a sullen
compulsion for passive aggressive annoyance.” Over the
years, I’ve had sound guys talk down to me, scream at me, try
to f*ck my girlfriend, punch me, kick me, and even cut off our
band’s set because we “pissed them off” when all we really did
was not take their sh*t like good little bitches. Well, I learned a
trick from our drummer Mr. Costa and it goes a little something
like this…If a sound-guy gets on your nerves, start breaking
the club’s equipment. You’ll be amazed at just how quietly
he/she sits and takes it. That’s the way this little club scene
seems to work…Treat someone politely and they treat you like
sh*t…Treat THEM like sh*t and they love you.

Scary: The song "So How Does the Floor Taste?" brought a
tear to my eye. If I may quote you, "The only reason I haven't
committed suicide yet is out of spite." That's poetry! What
inspired such an honest song?

Michael: I’d just broken up with a very long term lover and I got
into this apocalyptic mood where I just hated everyone, I
wanted to smash people’s faces with a hammer, burn down
society, that kind of thing. It was either write that song, or go
out and strangle some people. I think the ability to write music
and lyrics has truly kept me out of prison.

Scary: Seriously, I do think that your songs contain so many
truths about life and the world we live in. Do you think that
sometimes the points get overlooked by people who focus on
the language or the context in which you choose to relate
those points?

Michael: Oh definitely, we’ve had some serious battles with
parents and religious groups who tend to always pick out the
“f*ck words” in the songs and skip over the true beauty of the
lyrics. I think what separates P.T. Grimm lyrics from most other
rock band’s words is the attitude of the narrator in the
lyrics…You’ll notice that the lyrics rarely, if ever, are self
loathing. I think most of our songs come from the point of view
of a person in love with himself who’s severely disappointed in
the world in which he lives. I know how arrogant and
egotistical that sounds, and I’m not trying to say I’m the cat’s
pajamas by any means, just that I find myself consistently
disappointed with the almost vampiric society we as Americans
are forced to be a part of. Most people scoff at UFO enthusiasts
while praying to an invisible man who lives in the sky. I find
that hard to believe, but it’s true.

Scary: Some bands tend to forget that it's the fans who make
them famous, and they shy away from the crowd as their
popularity grows. I've seen the way you interact with fans
online, and it's admirable. How do you approach the pre and
post show interactions with fans at the clubs?

Michael: I don’t understand those bands that hide backstage all
night until they go on, there’s nothing back there but alcohol
and some chairs. Being backstage is f*cking boring; it’s like
volunteering for a coma. However, sometimes being out in the
crowd gets really scary…When there are too many overzealous
kids and a lack of security and you get backed into a wall,
surrounded by people who all want 100% of your attention.
That happened in South Jersey about a year ago, and I couldn’t
get enough air against all the kids pushing, but I grit my teeth
and beared it and signed autographs for every single kid who
wanted one, and in the end the club policed itself, and two of
the bigger Grimminals there made sure I didn’t get crushed into
the wall anymore.

Scary: I know that PT Grimm must have a virtual library of road
stories. What's the most memorable experience regarding
shows with other bands? Any dirt on the stars, or maybe some
wannabe stars?

Michael: You just opened up the biggest can of worms since
the White House. It’s hard to pick. We accidentally caused a
full-scale riot in New Hampshire. I tried to take photos of
Vanilla Ice’s genitalia, and did drugs with him. Poop and I asked
(Type O Negative’s) Peter Steele to make us into vampires,
which he was not amused by at all. We’ve stolen wheelchairs,
gotten into fistfights with the house sound guy live on stage,
taken naked pictures of Maxim models and broken more than
one stage in the past, but I suppose my favorite story would
involve a show at The Coney Island Sideshow in Brooklyn, NY,
with a band called Porn Rock. Alien Poop wound up going feet
first through the stage that night while we were playing “Enter,
Prize Lolita.” He decided to get up on a rafter in nothing but his
boxer shorts, and jump down onto the stage right when the
song kicked in. What wound up happening was he broke
straight through the stage feet first and went all the way
through it. Most normal bands would have stopped playing,
and checked on the welfare of their fellow band mate, and
maybe had security try to repair the stage, but not us! We
continued playing, while I forgot some of the words and
laughed my ass off, and then Poop climbed out of his hole
laughing HIS ass off. Porn Rock’s strippers were naked and
dancing all over the place during our set, and our fans were
getting really wild, both bands and their fans succeeding in
scaring the living sh*t out of the club’s collective employees.
Later on in the evening, this kid who we’ve nicknamed the
human torch came up onstage without our permission wearing
towels soaked in lighter fluid on both his arms and lit them on
fire. We finished our set while he danced around on fire and
finally threw the towels on the floor, attempting to stomp them
out…The fire got out of control and none of the club’s
employees could find a fire extinguisher. They finally put the
fire out with a few buckets of ice water, and we’re never
allowed to play there again. I don’t even think we’re allowed to
go IN there again.

Scary: Kevin Smith was the first the draw my attention to New
Jersey. "Clerks" made it seem like a carbon copy of my own
area. Tell me that the music scene there isn't as viciously
uninviting as it is in Cincinnati.

Michael: I think that by definition, any kind of art scene in any
area is going to be uninviting because the people who are in
‘charge of the scene’ so to speak, usually have similar tastes
and go out of their way to avoid anything that doesn’t fit into
that box. However, they usually don’t mind taking our kids'
money, so I suppose that once you reach a certain level of
popularity, you’re welcome to any scene at all with your green
pass card. That level of greed makes me f*cking sick. We’re not
doing this for money, and we’re not doing this for notoriety, we’
re doing this because we have to.

Scary: Maybe some of the crew here at Scary Entertainment
could come and drop in on you guys and take a look around
for ourselves. You think you and Alien Poop could throw us a
welcome party? It would be worth the trip if we could come
back and say that when we got to New Jersey, we were
welcomed by Alien Poop.

Michael: Poop is an odd creature, he’s like the Jersey Devil,
you won’t see that guy for a month, and then suddenly he pops
up and scares the hell out of everyone. He’s been my best
friend since we were puppies, so I think it wouldn’t be so hard
to get him to greet you guys, and he does love parties, as long
as they involve beer and little girls.

Scary: Are there any plans for a home video or some kind of
DVD release? I usually find bands' home movies dull and
typical, but I'm sure your's would be anything but that.

Michael: We are working on gathering the materials for that
sort of thing…But I’d rather release a DVD collection of the
homemade porn our fans have sent us over the years. Who
wants to stare at me when they can stare at tits instead?

Scary: One last thing... I've got a problem that I can't overcome.
Luck is a lady, but my ladies are dumb. Any advice?

Micheal: I’m not entirely sure I understand the question, but I’ll
answer it anyway...I have a pretty simple motto…If you meet
someone useless, make them feel useful by using them as
target practice. Thanks for indulging me to both Scary
Entertainment and their readers.

Scary: No, thank you Michael. It is always the pleasure of
Scary Entertainment to indulge artists such as yourself, and
our readers will TAKE IT, AND THEY'LL LIKE IT! They like
when I talk to them that way. Makes 'em feel needed.

Interview by- Scary Jerry

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